A Letter to Myself
First of all, a big “congratulation” to everything you have accomplished in your life!
It really is incredible how much you have done! I can imagine that it must be very tiring to be constantly learning and on the move. And all of that next to your job! You can really be very proud of yourself!
But you mustn’t forget to praise yourself every now and again. I think you are jumping far to quickly from one task to the next without actually acknowledging what you have achieved. Take to celebrating the achieved task right after it has ended. This is the moment in which you can rest. For if you keep running and running you will at some point drop dead like an exhausted horse and on looking back realise that you have done nothing else but running.
Do you remember what a friend once said? “What is it that you are running away from?” Could it possibly be yourself you are running from?
You said that a part of you is missing and you think that it is your father and you are deeply disappointed that he doesn’t acknowledge you. This is very sad indeed and I truly understand how you feel. But do you think that your life would change much if he suddenly took part in it?
Of course, nobody will know the answer to such a rhetorical question. But the truth is, that you will carry on living your life just the way you want. And if others acknowledge or praise you, it means that you are doing it right. And not that you have to attempt to be better than you already are!
Stop worrying! Yes, some people lie, but that shouldn’t swirl around in your head like angry bees around their hive every time someone compliments you. This is a good thing! Celebrate! Take it for what it is: an amiable gesture, instead of tearing it into pieces in an attempt to find a fault or hidden meaning. And should it be negative news, use it as a chance to develop and learn something new!
You are such a fantastic person with soo many different interests, that I am forever curious what you will do next. It seems like you finally found something that you enjoy and where you can grow and develop without entering a whole new area. That is great! You have arrived at a point from which you can create as well as inspire with many many future possibilities.
But again you need to make it clear to yourself that all you have to do is trust yourself! It does not matter what others think. We are all different, with a huge range of interests and diverse personalities. It is IMPOSSIBLE to make it right for everyone. You are being far too hard on yourself!
Enjoy the moment and rejoice in what it has on offer! Every moment at any given point of time offers more options than a whole lifetime experience, providing you are ready to accept it. And if you accept yourself you will get far more out of it as when you are waiting for the approval of others.
Recognize yourself for what you are! Your strengths, as well as your weaknesses. And don’t forget your inner child! It is the source of all origin. It is your true self. Honour it, nurture it and give it all your love and affection. This alone will give you the strength to acknowledge and accept yourself!