The Quest for Love

by Anna

Don’t we all believe there to be a soul mate who combines all our desires and much more? The knight in shining armour who will protect us against all evil? I always believed in my Prince Charming and I was determined I would find him.

It could have been regarded a bad omen that my mother only realised she was pregnant with me when she went into hospital with a suspected appendicitis, and even worse that my father was adamant for her to have an abortion. Although my mother had given me all her love, I have never encountered the unconditional love a father provides. I believe it made it difficult for me to relate to the opposite sex.

It is said that when you meet the right one you simply know. However, finding the elusive soul mate is often not so easy. If you are desperate to find Mr Right you are unfortunately more likely to find the devil first.

In my early twenties I left my home country of Germany and moved to England. And although I left everything behind, for the first time in my life I felt at home. Naively I expected my soul mate to appear at any time and paired with the loneliness that came upon me in this new country, I encountered a rather unsettling relationship. Nothing would ever compare to the traumatic experience of falling prey to the persistent mental and emotional abuse when I finally met the devil. He said he loved me, which for me was poison in the apple that I had longed for so long. It shook my core belief and changed the way I perceived love.

However, working through it made me a much stronger person. It actually opened me up to love, simply by giving up looking for it. I abandoned the idea of meeting Mr Right and decided to simply enjoy myself. It added much needed experience to my understanding of relationships and love. I finally arrived in a place where it didn’t matter whether I was alone or not, I had found a space within myself where I was simply happy with who and where I was. Accordingly, it didn’t take long for him to arrive. I was ready to embrace love at the humblest moment in my life. And so was he.

And the moral of this story? Life is unpredictable and we are merely participants in a scenario that is far beyond our understanding. We need to accept that and stop looking for the perfect moment. It opens a gate beyond which great opportunities lay. We ought to take that chance and walk ahead with curiosity and a knowing smile that we have already found what we were looking for, right at the start.

Love
Anna

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